Austin Powers celebrated British greatness. Jaguar's new rebrand buried it.

Why its latest ad is more sad than bad

Hey, what’s wrong? Bad day? Well, sorry, but it could be worse. A lot worse. You could be Jaguar’s head of brand strategy.

You’ve probably heard by now that its recent “Copy Nothing” campaign has been a huge fail with a glaring red ‘X’ across it, followed by a loud buzzer sound.

According to its press, the company is on a ‘transformative journey.’ Then, over night, the whole thing transformed into ‘marketing debacle to be studied as a worst-case scenario in business schools for generations.’

ICYMI, the new spot is a pastiche of hostile, self-satisfied intersectionals striking poses in monochrome costumes, against a dusty pink, Mad Max apocalyptic backdrop. It exhorts us to “copy nothing,” while glibly referencing every clichéd virtue-signalling diversity ad from the last decade—and then some.

What does it reference? What doesn’t it reference? X’s armchair semioticians noticed dashes of Zoolander, Devo, the Muppets, Teletubbies, United Colours of Benetton and Power Rangers. Some drew comparisons to Apple’s legendary “1984” ad and the opening ceremony of the Paris Olympics.

Needless to say, everyone hates it. The two most common complaints are ‘read the room’ and ‘2000-and-late,’ meaning it’s both out of sync with the times and might have been edgy a decade ago. One Twitter user said it best: “It’s like it was made in an alternate timeline in which Kamala won and somehow entered a porthole into ours.” An alternate timeline, I assume, in which Bud Lite’s collaboration with Dylan Mulvaney was a huge hit.

I won’t lie—all the ridicule and hilarious memes have been a guilty pleasure. But beneath the laughter, there’s a twinge of sadness to see the mighty fall. Once upon a time, Britain ruled supreme over automotive, aerospace, fashion and furniture design. Seeing an iconically British brand like Jaguar stumble so spectacularly strikes me as a grim reminder that Great Britain ain’t so great anymore.

I also hate to pile on, since Jaguar’s troubles have been steadily mounting over the years. Trying to navigate a turbulent, rapidly evolving industry while feeling trapped between its luxury heritage and the pressure to embrace an EV future, can’t be easy. Little wonder this new marketing direction feels like the manifestation of an identity crisis.

In search of itself, Jaguar channeled the wrong sources of inspiration. It went in for grim, joyless dystopian sci-fi when it should have tapped into Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, Mike Myers’ 1997 masterpiece. Why? Because not only is it joyful, not grim and hilarious, it absolutely percolates with affection for Britain’s creative immensity. It joyfully distills everything iconic about British film, music, and fashion, just in the two-minute opening sequence. If I know one thing, it’s that people love joyful distillations.

Of all the dazzling automotive eye candy Britain ever produced, Myers chose the Jaguar E-Type as Austin’s shagmobile. Because no car in history has been more closely associated with lust. Instead of tapping into its mojo, Jaguar delivered a rebrand about as sexy as a Toyota Camry. They even transed the old logo…

It can’t be overstated what a downgrade it is to swap out that dynamic, muscular typeface for something neutered and Comic Sans-ish. Visually, it’s a total surrender, like George Costanza wearing sweatpants in public.

Perhaps, in the grim neoliberal technocrat fantasy of ‘Copy Nothing,’ sex is a nuisance that could potentially lead to reproduction. Kids? Eww. Come to think of it… Cars! Eww. The target audience is Zoomers and they won’t even get a driver’s license. Hence, an ad that does not include an actual car, leaving us all to wonder if Jaguar had quietly pivoted to unisex cologne, or an avant-garde Dutch fashion line or maybe vape pens. This rather pithy cartoon sums it up perfectly…

As I was saying earlier, it’s all a little sad, so allow me to wrap up on an optimistic note directed at Jaguar: you can fix this! You can reverse course! Just pretend this whole “Copy Nothing” thing was ‘Phase I’ of a masterful, satirical plan—that you anticipated the backlash and will soon follow up in grand style with Austin Powers’ ‘shaguar’ smashing through that lineup of brightly-clad automatons, cartoon-style, followed by the words “just kidding.”

Now that would be joyful.