Remember these?
They’re Baa–aack!!
Stirrup pants haven’t been a thing since 1991. Apparently we just lived through roughly three blissfully stirrup pants-free decades—truly a golden era—and didn’t even know it. That’s golden eras for you. You only appreciate them in hindsight.
It’s been said that fashion trends mirror the times. Maybe whoever decides these things surveyed a landscape where a deadly virus was circulating, inflation rising, politics polarizing and a supply chain crisis burgeoning and thought ‘gee, what about stirrup pants?’ In other words, stirrup pants are exactly what this egregiously awful era deserves.
Or maybe it was just the burgeoning supply chain crisis. The latest shipment of fresh inspiration is caught in a bottleneck on the pacific, along with delayed shipments of semiconductors and plumbing fixtures. Somewhere on that boat is a whole container of stirrup pants bound for H&M. Ideally, the trend doesn’t expire before they arrive on the shelves. I guess Oscar Wilde was right when he said “fashion is so ugly, we have to change it every six months.”
What does explain the revival of one particular trend over another? Since the simplest answer is usually the correct one, the stirrup is making a comeback for the simple reason that everything comes back, no matter how wretched. Take note aspiring fashionistas… if you’re not mining the past, you’re in the wrong game. Hammer pants, overalls—aka the ‘hillbilly tuxedo’—and high-waisted acid wash cutoffs have all experienced revivals. Believe it or not, this circa 1989 bike-shorts-and-blazer look has been one of the hottest trends of 2021:
Never underestimate the hypnotizing allure of nostalgia. It airbrushes away the blemishes of even the most reviled artifacts of the past. It’s an irresistible vortex with religion-like powers to absolve sins and bestow innocence.
Revivals tend to improve on previous incarnations. This specimen, from a label called Marni, is cut looser around the hips, avoiding the pancake-ass effect of the 80s-era versions. The crease adds a nice formality, since stretchy stirrups sometimes look pajama-ish.
Actually, those aren’t too bad at all!
Oh God! It’s happening. Nostalgia has me in its Vulcan grip, like the sweet nectar of the pitcher plant, there is no escaping it. It’s too late for me. Save yourselves. Avert your gaze. Count backwards from ten. Run!!!!
Never mind. They’re already passé.
Last time I wore a pair was 1985! And yes, Dorothy Parker! Her last famous quote! Haha!