Another week and another Primary Guardian of Unspecified Gender Day has passed. Hope you enjoyed it. If not, don’t worry—part 2 is coming June 23rd. Officially, these two occasions still go by ‘Mother’s’ and ‘Father’s’ Day but history is marching forward.
Who knows? One day we might call it ‘Happy Temperature-Controlled Artificial Womb Facility Day.’ This could be the image inside the popsicle stick picture frame your sweet moppet made for you…
Until then, there will be ongoing virtue signals efforts to ‘heed seasonal sensitivities’ over what is still officially known as ‘Mother’s Day.’ Subscribers to countless brands can now opt out of Mother’s Day messaging. Last year Calvin Klein paid tribute to moms by featuring an expecting dad…
In Canada, where it’s enshrined in law that identity politics must ruin every official occasion, schools are pushing a more inclusive celebration called Parents Day. In Toronto, a shrieking harpy concerned parent demanded a school sign containing the word ‘mom’ be removed, demanding a sign “reflecting all family types.” With the backing of other Karens area residents, the school replaced the offending sign with a more generic one…
Centuries from now, as future historians pick over the bones of the 2020s Culture Wars, they’ll come across certain artifacts—a World’s Greatest Dad mug, a ‘Mother’s Day Special’ brunch menu—and scratch their heads. For them, there will be only one holiday, known simply as ‘Holiday,’ which will be unassailable in its secular glory and absent of reference to any place, person, time or gender.
Speaking of moms, try telling yours that the craft beer-making industry is rife with toxic cis-heteronormativity and see what she says.
Your mom:
Apparently, the microbrewery universe is awash in microaggressions. It’s hopped up on hate. Bubbling over with bigotry. Frothing with white cis-het privilege.
The CBC (Craft Brewers Conference), recently held in Nashville, has left the craft beer world bitter with rage over its choice of location. Raft Brew Labs, a beer analysis and quality consulting company in Calgary, posted this statement on Twitter…
An advocacy group called Beer is for Everyone posted a collective letter of objection to the Brewers Association, which organizes the conference, on Instagram. Escarpment Labs, a Guelph-based yeast maker, urged beermakers to “hold our industry’s organizations accountable,” while a beer equity activist named Ren Navarro described in an Instagram post leaving the conference feeling ‘broken’ by her experience.
On Twitter, the response from the non-beer-making world was mostly of the stunned ‘wut?’ variety. “Canadian beer brewers complaining about their beer conference being held in an ‘unsafe location.’ Ukraine? Sudan? North Korea? Nope. They’re talking about Nashville,” teased Quillette editor Jon Kay. But a comment by a user with the handle @DoTheOCOmotion summed up Twitter hive mind best: “Have a beer and relax mate.”
Hey comrade, why the long face?
Wait! Is it because The Anarchist is closing? Then I have great news—the “anti-capitalist, anti-colonial cafe, shop, and radical community space on stolen land” will live another day.
In case you fascists and colonizers out there missed it, The Anarchist is a coffee and socialist-ephemera emporium on Toronto’s Jarvis Street. It’s where owner Gabriel Sims-Fewer combines his twin passions of espresso drinks and anarcho-communism.
When he’s not fighting fascism one flat white and ‘defund the police’ tote bag at a time, Sims-Fewer is known to share his commie-hipster scorn edgy political opinions on social media…
All this to say, a few days ago the insufferable millennial owner announced he could no longer make ends meet and was closing shop. Then, via Instagram, came this update: “Courtesy of publicity and attention from Christian Conservatives of Texas and Florida, The Anarchist will continue to operate after May 30th.” Adding “still very much fuck the rich, the police and KKKanada.”
That’s the great thing about capitalism. It’s so efficient that you can loathe and seethe at it all you want and you still stand to benefit from it.
That Calvin Klein ad. Beyond revolting.
Unbelievably ridiculous about the school sign.